Kalmia Records Blog

Defining a personal development plan would mean altering the career path life cycle. Further, the main ingredient for a personal development growth schedule is to handle every assignment with the same vigor and enthusiasm like it was the very first one.

The success route is taking the high road and aspiring for a better life and being aware of the difference between right and wrong. Living life in quiet desperation and pursuing a dream only leads to a self-proclaimed revenue stream and a distinct lifestyle, which paves way to enter a comfort zone in life.

Part of the personal development plan is to have resolute determination. This is vividly exhibited in the movies “Search For The North Pole”, “The Alamo”, and “Saving Private Ryan”. These are cinematic expressions of resolute determination portrayed through conquering the frigid peaks of the North Pole, a bloody civil war to win back a state and a mother’s personal mission to find her lost son fighting in the army after losing three of her sons in WWWII.

Essentially for personal development growth, a few secrets from a super high performer helps. It isn’t just brains or education, though they certainly make success achievable. The act of doing it and constant perseverance that it should be done are clear winners.

History has stalwarts who have achieved unflinching success in this area. But along with their honor and consternation, is the fear of losing lives, suffering from poverty, humiliation and imprisonment. Ultimately, the choice is personal and without guts there is no glory.

For a proper personal development plan there are no short cuts. The truth is plain and simple and the benefit perceived is clear. A resolute decision will be easier and help in personal development growth if there is a dream and passion and also the ability to stretch beyond the comfort zone. Not going beyond can lead to stagnation even years of resolute determination. Remember, fear is False Expectation Appearing Real!

http://www.danpena.com

Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 8, 2003

When is it time to divorce a family member?

I’ve been helping my partner manage his father’s long-term care. This entails working with his brother who controls the purse strings. My partner and I are both artists, juggling multiple careers to realize our life work and get the bills paid. Our income is limited.

My partner’s brother is a self-made multimillionaire with multiple homes and his own private jet. We give what we can in terms of love, support, and managing round-the-clock care. The brother attempts to make us feel guilty by saying it is normal for all siblings to contribute financially and why aren’t we.

I found this man disgusting, repulsive, and nauseating when I first met him 12 years ago, and I feel exactly the same way now. I have always pretended to have a good time and to love him, which adds my dishonesty to the picture.

The brother is about to limit how much money he contributes for his father’s care. He will loan his father the rest. Once the equity is drained from the home and his father becomes indigent, the brother will provide the resources to take care of him.

My partner is at peace that inheritance isn’t part of his future, but my life is thrown entirely off balance and I end up with many sleepless nights. What bothers me is the distortion of reality. I communicate with my partner’s brother in writing, but he consistently misrepresents what I’ve written to him.

When I resend the information again and again, he claims it never happened or continues to misrepresent what I said. I showed the correspondence to a neutral third party, and she confirmed my perceptions.

This man does not appear to be conscious of his distortions and really believes his lies are true. We’ve tried telephone communication, but it is simply too traumatizing for both my partner and me to talk with him on the phone.

My counselor of many years has advised terminating the relationship, and my partner is also considering this. What do you think?

Marc

Marc, the first time you meet an individual who tells you up is down, right is left, and good is bad, it stuns you. You question your own judgment. But there are some people who will look you straight in the eye and lie.

Because you operate from a basis of honesty and integrity, you are dumbfounded that there is not some appeal to goodness or some line of reasoning which will get through to your partner’s brother. But there isn’t.

Believe the evidence of your own eyes. This man operates from the principle that he always gets to have his own way. You don’t need to understand why he is that way. You need only accept how he is.

Your father-in-law is going to be taken care of financially, and that is a wonderful thing. You asked when it is time to divorce a family member. The answer in your case is it was time about 11 years ago.

Wayne & Tamara

Innocence Lost

I caught my husband cheating over a year and a half ago. We have worked things out meanwhile and even bought our first home. What is eating me up every day is always wondering if he will ever do this again.

I asked him today if there was someone else, and indirectly he never answered my question. I feel so lost and insecure. What should I do to get past this?

Donna

Donna, the difficulty with staying with a cheater is you have to believe they won’t do again what they were not supposed to do in the first place. The first time your husband cheated he took away your ability to believe he is faithful.

We can’t tell you how to get past this. With this man you can only look out for your own best interests.

Wayne

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

“God gives us different passions so that everything He wants done in the world will get done.”
Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

Do you remember finding a dream that you just couldn’t wait to pursue? You faced every day with a new (perhaps renewed!) enthusiasm and resolve! Sometimes, however, as we each wait for our dream to take shape, mature and come to fruition, we lose sight of what originally inspired us to have such a dream or vision. In the everyday efforts of pursuing a dream — which often means “roll up our sleeves” and “get to work”– we forget some of the things that motivated us early on: the excitement of using our abilities more fully, of helping others, and finding a purposeful life. Instead, we often get de-railed, or discouraged. When those times occur, it is especially helpful to go back to the basic issues to “get back on track.”

The “Basics”
We talked about the importance of making sure we have drawn upon the deep heart desires God has given us, and of trusting that He will be a partner in granting those desires and in making our plans succeed. We talked about the growing of our dream, and that it will likely go through different stages. In the meantime, we are also growing in character and wisdom to equal the dream we have embraced. (See Getting Back to Basics, Part 1, August 2005, http://www.followyourheart.info/articles/art200508pr.html)

What else is there to think about? Speaking from my own experience, I believe it is helpful to look again at God’s promises and remember their initial offer of hope when we first discovered our dream. They can continue to offer hope and inspiration as we follow that dream. The last chapter of my book, Follow Your Heart and Discover God’s Dream for You, is called “Promises to Keep You Going.” That chapter was written because in writing that book, and as I completed the book and sought a publisher, there were many times of testing and uncertainty. Sometimes I wondered if my efforts where a whim, sometimes they were intimidating, and sometimes I wondered if they would ever succeed at all.

What I did when those occasions happened was to first look at the things we have been reviewing. I went through a checklist, and you can do the same, asking:

• does my dream really motivate me and incorporate my strongest passions?
• did I pick the dream that “won’t let go”, even though there were reasons why it might not have been the most logical dream? (When I returned to that dream it was immediately clear that I had a peace about it, in spite of the uncertainties surrounding it. Could peace be God’s homing device to guide and direct us to our destination?)
• do I understand my dream has to go through several stages and “grow”?
• do I trust God to fulfill my dream according to His timing and purpose, and to give up any “perceived” control of my own?

After answering those questions with a strong “yes”, and knowing that no other dream so completely captured the deep passions within I felt God had given me, I resolved to trust Him to see my dream blossom and grow. (And I am glad I did!)

God’s Promises
What I did next was to keep returning to God’s promises— they were what really “kept me going.” I believe He plants His desires for our life within us, until those desires grow, become stronger, and catch our attention. He certainly is interested, then, in helping and seeing those very desires fulfilled. I was interested in the promises that spoke to these issues, and what might be required of me to do.

One of the key things I realized is that God is deeply involved in our dreams and lives. He has given us “his very great and precious promises.” (2 Peter 1:4)
I decided to take them at face value, and assume they mean exactly that they say.
(Without trying to over-analyze them.)

• I “willed” myself to believe them, because my will has more power than my feelings.
• I was willing, if it depended on my action or response, to take that step.

So, what were some of the promises that kept me and my dream going? I am going to concentrate on our heart’s desires, on guidance, and on joy and abundance. To me these were key promises that spoke of an active involvement of God on our behalf– in our yearnings, in guiding and watching over us, in counseling us, and in giving us life “to the full.”

Heart’s Desires:
“Delight yourself also in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Ps. 37:4)
“May he give you the desires of your heart and make all your plans succeed.” (Ps. 20:4)

Guidance:
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go: I will counsel you and watch over you.” (Ps. 32:8)
“I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you
In the way you should go.” (Isa. 48:17)

Joy/Abundance:
“Until now ;you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.” (Jn. 16:24)
“…I am come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (Jn. 10:10)

Our Mission
Finally, in addition to believing God’s promises, I believe too that our mission in life is a law “written in our members”. God has already revealed His will for us relating to our vocation and mission. We start to discern that will as we discern the motivations and talents we have been given. This discernment is what started me on my own dream journey, a journey I share with all dream seekers. I felt I was being true to myself, and to true to whatever gifts or abilities God had given me.

It is my hope that as you follow your heart and dreams, you will continue to discover the purposes He has for your life and talents. May you trust in Him and His promises to you to keep you going forward. May the “desires of your heart” also come true!

Happy dream journey,

Judy Peterson

©Copyright 2006 - Judy Peterson. All Rights Reserved.

These thought provoking missives, have served as a guiding light for my life. I hope you find them as helpful as I have.

Food for Thought…Prayer for Humanity

And now, father/mother of us all,

I ask you to bless all of humanity.

We need your wisdom, your guidance.

You see, for so long,

humans have worked to destroy each other,

and many people only feel comfortable

when given power over others.

Bless them, show them the peace I understand;

teach them humility.

For I fear they will someday destroy themselves

and their children

as they have done so to Mother Eart

I plead, I cry.

After all, they are my sisters and brothers…

–Anon.

Honor the Sacred

Honor the sacred

Honor the Earthour Mothe

Honor the Sun

Honor the Moon

Honor the elders

Honor all with whom we share the Earth:

Four-leggeds, two-leggeds, winged ones,

Swimmers, crawlers, plant and rock people.

Walk in balance and beauty.

Native American Commandments

• Treat the Earth and all that dwell thereon with respect.

• Remain close to the Great Spirit.

• Show great respect for your fellow beings.

• Work together for the benefit of all Mankind.

• Give assistance and kindness wherever needed.

• Do what you know to be right.

• Look after the well being of mind and body.

• Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater good.

• Be truthful and honest at all times.

• Take full responsibility for your actions.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life’s challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

1. We all have a purpose in this life time.

The Mystics say each being has 2 core needs, to know they are loved
and to know their lives have purpose. Is there anyone out there who
doesn’t feel like they have some purpose on this Earth? Do you feel
embarrassed by thinking that, feel it’s too lofty? Some voices in your
head telling you all those lovely things, “who do you think you are?”,
“yeah right, you, hah!” and on and on. I prefer to believe the Mystics. I
know my head wants to keep me safe, in the comfort zone, a place
where no growth or change will take place, it may have a semblance of
comfort to it, it is the place of death.

2. Great way to model for your children.

We want to tell our children how to behave, and yet what the heck are
we modeling? Tell children to get along with others meanwhile we are
blowing up different parts of the world and its people. Cursing at the guy
who just cut us off in traffic, gossiping, etc. Don’t smoke, drink, and tell
the truth, …what are we doing? We think that by telling them these things
they will learn them and voila, out comes your perfect child. A child
learns by what they see and hear, they are watching and listening 24/7
and remember everything!! If you have trouble living on purpose every
day for yourself, then do it for your children, do it for the world. Do it so
that you get to live your purpose, so you can live in joy, so that you care
about what is happening around you, so that your children will get to
grow up and not live your limitations.

3. It keeps you living in the moment.

If you are “waiting” you are not living in the moment. What are you
waiting for? I think it all started with Prince Charming on the white
stallion. When was he going to get here? It’s been 52 years and he has
not arrived. Maybe I will wait till I get the raise, the career, the job, the
relationship, the hairdo, the body, the car, the house, the whatever, and
then my life will be perfect. If we are waiting we are living in the past or
dreaming about the future and missing every moment of every day to co-
create the magical, mystical life we are all longing for.
Can you in this moment, think of one thing you are waiting for. Got it.?
From a place of compassion what do you need to do to stop the waiting
game around this one thing?

4. It feels good!!

The flow, the synchronicity. We have all had those synchronistic
moments., they feel so sweet! Would you like more of those? Guess
what, when you are living on purpose you are awake and conscious to
the miracles going on around you. Most of the time we are absorbed in
something other than the present moment and we miss most of them.
Using a planner is a wonderful thing, your day, month, is filled with all
the most important things in your life, they have a time slot. They get
attention! No time at the end of the month you say, I didn’t have time to
exercise, or I didn’t have time to write. You make an appointment for all
that is important to you and then live your life around those. Most of us
schedule our lives around our work, and get the living done in bits here
and there, a 2 week vacation. What if we completely switched that and
got our living done first and then did our work?

5. You get to do what you love.

Express your creative self doing things that give you pleasure, joy, juice!
Nothing happens when you are laying on the couch watching tv, nothing
that is going to change your life. A stress reliever for the moment, the
problem is that it takes us to a new level of numbness and stress is still
there. Have you ever felt like you were living Groundhog’s Day, over
and over. The difference is there is no happy ending for us, no shift and
everything happily ever after. What happens when you live this life is
that you live it day after day after day, hoping it will change, but taking no
actions to do so. We live it over and over and then we expire. There is
no sequel to this lifetime.

6. People love being around you.

You are fulfilled and in joy, no matter what happens, no one gets to take
your joy, you aren’t giving it up! How many times have you heard
someone say, You made me feel angry?” I know we have all heard that,
or another form of it. In truth, no one can make you feel anything unless
you allow it. No getting to be the victim. It’s up to you. Do you want to live
in Joy, or not? It doesn’t mean that things aren’t going to happen, of
course they will. There will be things that will hurt and feel like our hearts
are breaking and, you can still hold joy in your heart thru all of it.

7. At the end you are ready to go home

A friend shared that the 2 words people so commonly say on their death
beds is Oh Sh**! Elizabeth Kubler Ross said “and at the end of your life
you will say what the great majority of people say to me when I sit at
their death bed, with great grief and sadness “I have made a living, but I
have never lived”. Right now, in this moment you have a choice to live a
life on purpose that is connected with your true authentic self or to live a
life that just seems to happen day after day and wait for that day, or
person, job, house, clothes, hairstyle, partner that is going to save you
and make your life all better. (just an aside, they/ it isn’t coming!) As the
Hopi Elders say, “You are the one you have been waiting for”. You are
the one who holds the keys to go deeper into your life, your reason for
being here, your purpose

Antonia Nelson is a Coach and Integrative Therapist, specializing in Life
Transformation thru Life Coaching. To receive a free report on “What
Coaching can bring to your life” contact Antonia at ant@dcwis.com

Several years ago our six-year-old granddaughter, our four-year-old twin grandsons and a young friend of theirs and I gathered together for a poetry fun-shop. But before we got into the fun part I asked them to spend a few minutes talking about who their heroes are, a really heavy subject for such young folks. But as I get older and wiser, I’m discovering that we are short-changing our little ones terribly. Out of the mouths of babes come discriminating and perceptive thoughts. And they don’t hesitate to tell you, too!

I asked them if they knew any people they considered special enough to imitate. Well, a huge silence ensued so I decided to share my wisdom of the ages, rather, my old-age wisdom. Seeing who gets all the publicity in the papers, I’ve always thought the “little person” lands on the very low end of the scale. So we talked about the “little person” and what he or she does, and what makes him or her a hero.

1. The true hero is willing to take responsibility for his or her actions.

2. The true hero drops the “victim” cloak and goes on with duties, whether it’s raining or not. S/he doesn’t expect the government to hand out raincoats or, better yet, stop the rain. After all, let’s get real here!

3. The true hero doesn’t cry if the prize isn’t in the box, and s/he for sure doesn’t sue the company!

4. The true hero gets out of bed every morning no matter how s/he feels and gets on with life and kids and work. It may not pay today but it will surely pay high dividends in ten or twenty years from now.

5. The true hero knows that bad things happen to good people. As Mort Crim so aptly stated: “Once we accept the fact that bad things do happen to good people, then we can get on with the business of living life to the fullest: giving, loving, creating, sharing, building, walking through every door of opportunity offered by this fragile, unpredictable, exciting experience called life.”

6. The true hero can make a decision and stand by it. This takes more courage than we realize.

7. The true hero gives 110% if that is what is needed.

8. The true hero keeps promises. Only a child knows how important this is.

9. The true hero never complains. This is where we separate the heroes from us ordinary folks!

10. The true hero loves in spite of instead of spite!

These wonderful children decided that their true heroes were their moms and dads!

What If?
What if I can’t?
What If I can?
What I should be thinking
Is it in God’s plan?

What if I couldn’t?
What if I could?
Then I start to wonder
If I really should?

What if I wouldn’t?
What if I would?
What would I do,
If others really understood?

What if, I am beautiful,

Just as I am.
That a scale means nothing,
When talking to a human.

What if, I am worthy of love,
Just by being alive
What if,
I don’t have to prove myself
Or feel ashamed to cry?

What if,
By some chance,
All my negative thoughts were wrong.
That I am free to sing and dance,
That I am not weak or strong.

What if, I did not make excuses,
I simply threw them out the door.
What if, I started getting honest,
and I started at my core.

What If…

When I am living in the present,
there is no reason for me to fear,
the what if’s that surround me
and the negativity that is near.

When I am in the here and now
and take some time to breathe,
I realize that anything is possible,
as long as I believe.

Mary Pat finds blessings in every day to help her stay in the present moment and not let her Eating Disorder get the best of her.She has a Masters in Experiential Education and a BA in Religion. http://www.reflectingrace.com

Many people believe that during times of planet alignment magical things can happen. Others say no way; that is utter hokum. Perhaps you have an opinion on this subject? Can Planet alignment affect the Earth and the Earth’s path?

Now then with regard to planet alignment, indeed the planets are very far apart and thus somewhat insignificant. However many nearby planets all aligned could ever so slightly change the resonance of the normality of Earth and ever so slightly move the all the planets a little off their exact (atomic clock amounts in micro seconds stuff) path.

Insignificant yes. But mankind does not have enough power to do that yet? Well unless he can put a large yield nuclear weapon on a fault line and trigger something like the Sumatra Earthquake nearly cracking a tectonic plate. Something to think on.

Additionally Eclipses are significant because they will provide for slight changes of Earth’s resonance. Some say that in fact human beings seem to pick up these things, even Full Moons as they seem to have an innate ancient hunting need during those times which comes out. Any policeman will tell you that they have significant troubles and lots of arrests on full moons, as people will do some pretty crazy things.

Could it be a double factor? Resonance changes picked up by the brain, body, bio-rthyms or the full moon triggering mammalian old part of the brain seeing the full moon? Yet over cast full moons also have huge arrest rates in large cities, when no one can see the moonlight. Now then does this mean that they can they feel it subconsciously? Lots of questions here and few answers and those are my main thoughts this issue. Consider this in 2006.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

The problem with research on meditation is that it is limited. Though there is a lot of information of how meditation is useful in various medical conditions, there is limited information on how to meditate so as to see changes in your life.

If you can meditate, then start with meditation for only five minutes a day. You can use any form of meditation that you are comfortable with. But in order to experiment, stick to only five minutes everyday. You will see that within 3 to 4 weeks of starting meditation, you will feel irritable, angry or low for no reason. If you can handle that, continue with it. If you cannot handle it, stop doing the meditation for 2 or 3 days. You will start to feel better again. Start meditation for five minutes a day again. Be consistent with it and you will reach a stage when you will feel happy within yourself. You will also notice unexpectedly good coincidences happen in life. The following changes will be noticed.

CHANGE IN MOOD: You will feel a stability in happy mood. This will be different from the relaxation that will be experienced at the start of meditation. This time anything that bothered you before, will not be bothersome. Instead of a quick change in your mood, your happiness will be long lasting.

CHANGE IN RELATIONSHIPS: After you have gone through the phase of anger and feeling low, you will notice that your relationships with people around you would become better. You will have less confrontation with your partner.

CHANGE IN EFFICIENCY: You will notice that you will have more energy as compared to before. The same job that you found boring, mundane or stressful will become enjoyable. Every person that I have seen in my practice has become more efficient in what they did, with meditation.

CHANGE IN FINANCES: If you are consistent in meditation, you will notice that your financial situation after you have gone through the low phase of meditation, will be better than before you started meditation.

CHANGE IN THE ENVIRONMENT YOU LIVE IN: At some stage, after you start meditation, you will start to get irritable with the clutter around you. In most cases that I have seen, clearing of the attic or giving away old clothes is the norm. It happens spontaneously.

CHANGE IN SOCIAL LIFE: Initially you will feel happy with friends. Then some of them will start to annoy you and then you will decide who you want to remain your friend or not. Instead of going out, you will feel happy with yourself.

CHANGE IN SELF-ESTEEM: As you meditate, your self-confidence will become better before it gets a battering temporarily. Then as your emotional clutter gets cleared with meditation, your self-esteem goes higher.

CHANGE IN LUCK: Initially when I saw people’s lives changing in front of my eyes, I could not believe it. But I can now safely and comfortably write that meditation will change your luck too. You will notice surprisingly pleasant things happen that were not expected.

The above changes will be noticed successively as you increase the time duration of your meditation. At each change in duration,for example, from five minutes to 10 minutes, you will go through the stage of feeling angry and low before you feel better again. In this venture, patience pays.

Pradeep K Chadha is a psychiatrist who specialises in helping patients with meditation and imagery using little or no medication. He is the author of The Stress Barrier-Nature’s Way To Overcoming Stress published by Blackhall Publishing, Dublin. He is based in Dublin, Ireland.His website address is http://www.drpkchadha.com

“MEDITATE”

.. focus one’s mind for a time for relaxation or spiritual purposes/think carefully about…

As I suspect you already know, this is easier said than done. However once mastered this will make for a most amazing pasttime, and remains without a doubt a worthy pursuit. It is with this in mind that I have decided to create this meditation course, which will step by step show you how to meditate and with the help of some exercises and aids.

To this end you will also find that this course has been developed to enable beginners (and advanced as refresher/and perhaps a slightly different perspective) without much effort to start almost instantly enjoying the benefits of meditation, which could be numerous including :

• Better physical health
• Better mental health and abilities
• Less stress
• Better sleeping habits
• And of course could also include personal spiritual growth, even if not philosophically associated.
• And many more not mentioned here….

Step 1

So as a start I would suggest that we begin with a fairly important aspect of meditation. An aspect which will have an impact on your meditations in the future :

SEATING ARRANGEMENTS

Whilst most teachers will insist that you take up a lotus position, I have found that there is very little limitation to potential positions which are suitable for meditation at this level. Essentially three things to consider:

• It must be a position in which you would be able to sit (or stand) for at least 5-10 minutes, and with reasonable comfort, ensuring that you reduce discomfort, and following fidgeting to a minimum.
• It must be in a place where you will not be disturbed for the duration of your meditation. {there is little as unpleasant as being rudely awakened in the middle of a meditation session.}
• It must be a comfortable position, but a position which is not conducive to sleep. eg. trying to meditate lying down on your bed, is the easiest way to fall asleep rather than meditate.

For the sake of ease, I have found that simply sitting fairly upright in a normal chair is fairly suitable. It is OK for the chair to have armrests and soft cushioning as this will likely increase the comfort level by just enough to keep you going. If the chair has no armrests of course you could simply rest your hands in your lap.

Of course you are welcome to attempt a lotus position, as this will likely eventually prove to be a suitable position, however I have found that not only is it a difficult position to take for normal folk, but unless you are a seasoned meditator, you are likely to find that you get distracting aches in places which will force you to fidget

To avoid this I have found that a partial lotus (only crossing one foot over your leg, and the other underneath, or one foot accross and the other not totally underneath) with back support makes for a comfortable position for most meditations.

Again I must state that it remains unimportant whether or not your are able to sit in this position or not, and at this stage I would suggest that you can give up perfection for comfort, as this will have very little (if any) impact on the success of your meditations…

Oh.. and do not be afraid to stop reading to try find a comfortable position right now…

Step 2

The next step is at least as important as the first step. Fortunately this is not a difficult step, and with some help I believe you will be able to master this very quickly :

PREPARING TO MEDITATE

Whilst there are many techniques with which to do this, I have found that for me there is only one way. TAKE A BREATH

If this is applied correctly you will find that within seconds you will get your body relaxed, and in a fit state to start your meditation. In fact I would go as far as saying that I use this technique in preparation of every meditation that I attempt, and with perfect success every time.

Another useful benefit of applying this correctly is the fact that it immediately starts to focus and relax your mind, which makes it that much easier to get into your meditation without distraction. And no matter how long or how short your meditation, starting with this will get your there quickly and with little fuss.

“How do I apply this correctly?…

Taking preparatory breaths are easy enough and requires only that you are able to count (and do not hesitate to practice this as your read it) :

• Taking a deep breath in. Do this over a count of 4. (about 1 second apart, or as is comfortable for you, trying to get as close to 1 second per count as possible). Also while taking the in breath imagine you are breathing in calm, relaxing, healing energy with the air.
• Then hold your breath for 16 counts.
• Then emtpy your lungs slowly over 8 counts. And while you breath out imagine you are blowing out stress and illness and discomfort with the air that you are blowing out.
• Repeat this at least three times, after which your should be pretty ready to start with your meditation. If however you sense that your mind is still racing and you are not relaxed yet, you could do this as many times as you feel the need to. Please take note that whilst this form of breathing exercise does not hold any real danger to you, if you feel dizzy it is better to stop and try again later.

Step 3

Now is where you actually start to meditate. Your body and mind is prepared to start meditation, (and yet your mind keeps on wandering…).

Essentially it is now time for you to start “thinking carefully about something…”.

This unfortunately is where most students falter, and the primary reason for this is simply that the question always comes up. “WHAT DO I HAVE TO MEDITATE ABOUT?…”. “WHAT DO I DO NOW”.

Of course there are many answers to this question however I have found that few of them will be of any real use to you, so I will offer you a little from my experience :

What most teachers will omit to teach, or tell you, is that objectively, to get the best benefit from your meditation, you have to figure out first what you consider worth the effort, and then meditate on that.

That of course does not mean that you can not go for the clearing of your mind meditation where you think about nothing. This you will find is rather on the difficult side however, and most seasoned meditators battle with this.

So to start meditating you would rather want to find a subject or topic to meditate on {think about}. These could include things like :

• Relaxing & destressing
• Just for fun
• Your health
• In preparation for a difficult task (eg. interview for a new job, first date…)
• Some problem in your life
• Some problem at work
• Some spiritual pursuit
• Things like astral projection
• And many many more….

This probably still has you a little baffled. “HOW DO I MEDITATE TO RELAX AND DESTRESS”. Well I can assure you that sitting there and thinking “I have to relax and destress” over and over again will not do the trick. Rather than focussing on trying to relax, think about the place that you feel safe and calm in and go there in your mind. Going there will also keep you going for a little while, making it possible for you to stay in this meditative state for a time. Now if you want to stay in this place a little longer start to focus on details of this place in your mind (eg. if your place is a meadow, take a closer look at the flowers that are growing there, or look at the bird flying by, and pay attention. Look at the sky, and try to identify images in the cloud formations. etc…).

Following this will likely make it possible for you to stay in meditation longer, and by the time you awaken from your meditation, you will probably feel very relaxed.

Another example of a fun meditation to do would be the elevator meditation. Essentially all you have to do is after completing your meditation preparation, in your mind’s eye, get in an elevator. Select any button, and feel the elevator start moving, watch the counter move, and when the elevator doors open, look outside to see if there is anything. If there is nothing go back into the elevator, and select another floor. Do this until you reach a place where you feel comfortable getting off the elevator, and where there is something to see. Once you are there look at the details. Sense them, smell them , hear them, see them, taste them… You are likely to find this a very pleasant experience. When you are done and you want to stop, just get back in the elevator, and go back to where you started. After that awaken slowly and comfortably. Chances are you will feel the experiences of the meditation lingering. An amazing feeling….

Go ahead, do one….

Step 4

MAKING IT A LITTLE EASIER

As suggested before, one of the most difficult aspects of meditation, and especially for beginners, is the ability to focus your mind for a period long enough to actually get benefit from a meditation.

And whilst there are many reasons for this, the most prevalent would be a wandering mind, added to the lack of ability to concentrate long enough on one thought to derive significant benefit from this.

Fortunately practice will make perfect, and as you start and progress on your meditation journey you will find that your skills increase and your results with this. I suspect however that you are looking for an easier way to do this than to simply try and concentrate. And happily I am pleased to say that there is a way :

DIVERSION

Essentially giving your mind something to focus on which is external from yourself, and which does not require any major effort on your part to control. And whilst this is really just a trick, it works well and with almost instant benefit to you as meditator. And before you know it, you will be able to focus your mind for long periods of time, without any help.

Of course there is nothing that stops you from trying to do this on your own, and without assistance, however you are likely to find this difficult at best, as being human, and living a normal life will likely make it very easy for your mind to wander.

So to divert my mind I have found the use of guided meditations (diversion of your mind) to be incredibly valuable, and for many reasons. The most important of which includes the simple fact that instead of trying to concentrate your mind (and curb those ever wandering thoughts) you have to simply follow the meditation, which is guaranteed to get to a better and quicker result, simply because you will not likely be tempted by other thoughts which do not follow the meditation.

Sadly this is another place for students of meditation to get stuck. “Which meditation do I use?…”, “I do not want some philosophy shoved down my throat with the meditation…” and I suspect that you could come up with a few more reasons why this is not normally acceptable. What one has to remember is that despite the difficulties you may have with this form of meditation, the technique is fantastic, even if the meditation is unsuitable for you.

So to keep things simple you can write and record your own meditations, which will suit exactly your needs. It is easier than you think…

Simply follow the formats of a few of the meditations, already quoted in this article as well as the basic suggestions and there is little that you can really do wrong…

So go ahead and try it….. (Thats how I started)

Pieter Heydenrych is a Rieki master who has created a resource at http://www.letsmeditate.net dedicated to teaching non religiously affiliated meditation to all who wishes to learn it.