Kalmia Records Blog

We’ve been hearing it for years. Seven out of ten of us are
wearing the wrong size bra, ladies! And having a bra fit by a
‘professional’ may not help at all!

Too often, we rely on those silly little things called tape
measures to ‘tell’ us what size we are and stick to it like gum
on a shoe, when in reality, the fit will be different depending
on the style, manufacturer and fabric. Charts and measurements
are often no help, especially when it comes to larger sizes.

Women who have gone to have a sizing done by a professional bra
fitter do not always get the best results, especially if the
fitter is inexperienced or has received little training. Your
best bet? Grab a handful-no pun intended- of bras in your
general size and start trying them on!

The most common problem: cups and underwires. Cups should fit
comfortably. In other words, your cup should not runneth over-no
bulges from the front or sides; nor should they be baggy.
Underwires should fit under and around the breast, resting
comfortably on the ribcage-never on the breast itself and you
should be able to raise your arms above your head comfortably,
also.

To find the right fit you’ll also need time. Take a Saturday and
make it your mission to find ‘the right one’. If you decide to
see a professional, a good fitter will make you feel comfortable
and at ease and will explain what she is doing. She will check
where the wire, the underband and the straps fit and have the
ability to know from a mathematical formula how to fit you with
a bra that is supportive and comfortable, not to mention
attractive and flattering to your figure.

You don’t have to spend a fortune but every woman needs a few
bras of good quality in her drawer. Remember, you get what you
pay for. At last, you won’t have to be one of those 7 out of 10
women walking around doing the bra cha-cha (1, 2, 3-tug and
adjust).

Won’t that be nice?

How fine life would be if we all felt like a million dollars 24
hours a day,7 days a week! We would never, ever feeling like we
have woken up in a pit, full of self confidence lows, having the
energy to just jump out of bed and meet the day with loads of
enthusiasm and knowing that we are going to get through the day
without worries of any kind. The sun will shine all day, with
just enough breeze to keep our bodies cool. Life is good, oh so
good.

NOT if you are a person imprisoned by low self confidence, it
so is not. Low self confidence is a very nasty characteristic to
have inside us. It makes us feel weak. It makes us lose faith in
our actions and dreams. It can even stop us from going forward
in our lives with relationships. It allows so many ugly negative
thoughts to take hold of our minds. Some will even try to escape
this gripping emotion through the comfort they feel in their
eating patterns. Some begin to trust the emotion that creates
mistrust, in order to derail their thinking, only setting them
up for a history of jealous explosions.

We begin to act selfish, constantly thinking that every action
made is directed at us in some negative way or that we are the
butt end of the joke when we see people laughing and happen to
be looking our way. We feel that we are being compared with
others. We feel we cannot ever do anything right. We see
negative in every word that is said about us. We want to share
our pain and loneliness, so that everyone around us can feel
equally sad. We become habitual riders on the roller coaster of
self-pity. We want to be the only person in the world with any
good qualities. We want our partners to see only us and desire
only us. We want our partners to only have fun when we are
around them. We do not allow ourselves to have fun because we
are allowing our selfish habit of low confidence to stand in our
way. Notice all the WE`s in this paragraph.

Our negative trap is working well, isn`t it? The trap of low
self confidence is what will trigger all the lows in our
emotions such as: low self-esteem, low energy levels, low sexual
desires, low positive thinking, low care in personal hygiene,
low desires in life period.

Imagine watching a movie, and in this movie there is a person
trying to get through life struggling with all the WE`s that I
have just described to you. Would you not be thinking, or if you
are like me yelling, at them to STOP? Would you not be thinking
of ways to help them? Weird isn`t it? The person in that movie
is you, all you have to do is step outside of yourself, and your
ability to fix all of those WE`s is so simple. We always think
that we look funny in pictures, but when we look at other people
in pictures, we do not criticize them or pick them apart. Well
neither does anyone do that to our picture. We are our worst
enemy when we allow low self confidence to take priority in our
minds.

How does one fight this horrible war against ones self? Habits
are a very, very good way. I have done articles on habits many
times. Hmm. Wonder why? Probably because it is through creating
positive thinking habits that we can drowned out the negative
stuff that controls are world of peace and happiness. I am not
saying it will happen over night. I am not saying that it will
happen after one time of defeating the negative. What I am
saying is that the more we feel that we are just as special as
anyone else in the world, or ask ourselves, will this issue that
is causing me so much pain and agony mean anything tomorrow? If
this is my last day on earth, do I want to spend it like this?
Try to feel like you are all new every morning. Nothing that
happened yesterday will defeat our day today. What may seem so
devastating in that second, really is only because we are
allowing it to feel that way. Changing your track is a very
important thing. I don’t care what you have to think about in
order to do that, just do it. Think about anything to get your
mind to change. Eventually the your mind will do that on its
own. Yes, it’s all habits and only you can do this. This is
something you must do for you. Your self respect will guide you
and give you strength. The higher you build your self
confidence, the stronger all of you becomes. Then you will be
able to defeat all of the negative emotions that fight to
control your thinking. Do this for you. It’s no different than
quiting smoking, exercising, taking care of yourself, even
cosmetic surgery. All of these changes can and should only be
done with your best interest as your goal. No one else really
cares in the end. How you live your life and find happiness is
totally up to you, so kick low self confidence in the BUTT!

I know that if you really want something, you can and will get
it. That’s a fact my sweet people! Make the WE syndrome turn
into a non selfish WE. Think of everything and everyone around
you as a positive element that you need to create your positive
habits. As I have said so many times: If only we lived in a
perfect world!

********************************* “You, yourself, as much as
anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

-Buddha

********************************** “Every day I live I am more
convinced that the waste of life lies in the love we have not
given, the powers we have not used, the selfish prudence that
will risk nothing and which, shirking pain, misses happiness as
well.”

-Anonymous

*********************************

Here I address only some of the common emotional causes of what is termed sexual performance anxiety.

Sexual performance anxiety is an emotional condition that is associated with feelings of anxiety or nervousness in love making situations, low sexual self confidence, feelings of inadequacy as a man, a fear of ejaculating prematurely, loss of ejaculatory control, feelings of guilt, depression and in the worst cases the avoidance of sex.

Sexual identity and performance can be extremely sensitive to any overarching emotional issues that may be present. Some of the offending issues are:

1. Low self esteem, self worth, self confidence or self image from other causes.

2. A fear of an emotional or relational commitment to one’s partner.

3. A fear of intimacy.

4. A fear of becoming overly dependent and/or submissive to one’s partner.

5. Unconsciously perceiving one’s partner as a dominating or needy “parental” figure.

6. Feelings of guilt relating to an ongoing or past affair that remains unresolved.

7. Being untruthful or holding back some hidden information about one’s past with one’s partner.

8. Feelings of inadequacy.

9. An inability to handle stresses outside the relationship that then unconsciously and physically intrudes into the love making situation.

10 A deep need to please your partner in the sexual context that places undue performance pressure on the man.

11. Presence of a mood disorder such as depression.

And so on.

One of the difficulties that many men have is a fear of addressing inner emotional issues as they have not been socialized to do so. This leaves them feeling trapped, helpless and even more inadequate.

In such cases this problem can feed itself and leave an individual crippled sexually, emotionally and relationally.

In recent years I have worked with individuals helping them nurture an awareness of and mastery over their internal emotional life in such a way that they later feel it to be one of their genuine strengths.

If you would like some help in this area kindly visit the web link below.

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called “Spirituality And Science” (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of “Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation” (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Energy Medicine Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.

Web Site: http://www.telecoaching4u.com/IntroConsult.htm

Whether you have a standard vasectomy or a no scalpel vasectomy there will be a period of recovery. Granted a scalpel one has a longer recovery time and a little more discomfort than a no scalpel vasectomy, but there is still recovery time. The doctor will give you a set of instructions for what to do following your vasectomy and it is this that I would like to discuss. The mystery is actually a lot worse than the reality so brace yourself. Below is a typical list of things to do when recovering from a vasectomy. Your doctor may give you a slightly different list but the idea will be the same.

1. The doctor will tell you to stay off of your feet for a few days following the vasectomy procedure. For those of you that work from home, here is where you will benefit. You will just be asked to sit back on the couch and put your feet up.

2. To take the edge off of your vasectomy the doctor will prescribe you pain relievers and ask you to take them as needed. Trust me when you need one go ahead and take one. Nobody will have to tell you twice.

3. Brace yourself because this is where vasectomy thing takes cold turn. You will be instructed to ice your scrotum over the first day so that it does not swell. Do what you can to avoid a swollen scrotum following your vasectomy.

4. Get a hold of a few pairs of tighty whiteys and maybe an athletic supporter for a few weeks. For you boxer guys out there, sorry.

5. Lastly, you will be asked to collect and bring in your semen for a few of months after your vasectomy so that the doctor could make sure there is no sperm in it. The challenge is to keep the mood while collecting. Good luck.

The fact is that when you get a vasectomy you will have to do what you are told ot ensure that you heal up safely. It is a small price to pay for the fun you will have for years to come. When you get down realize that many men go through the very same thing everyday and come out of it well. Be strong and remember that you are doing a good thing for you and your family.

For more information about getting a vasectomy or how the alternatives to vasectomies, visit http://www.fertilityandreproduction.com.